timothyx

Strolling around the valley in between dancing up a storm at the elephant and wheelbarrow in my newly labeled “adrenalin drunky” style, i couldn’t help but vomit my own intestines at the sad state of affairs male fashion is in. This tied in well with my vomit themed night having already witnessed the classic vomit in the restroom sink, and ending my night by standing in a pile of vomit with the textural consistency of a dampened pizza while chatting to a mate at an insanely packed taxi rank.

We’ve had so many waves of fad fashion that guys are still trying to milk value out of all the other shit styles they bought into, creating a race of emo pirate pseudo rockstar wogboy wigger sailor punk poofs. Pink is still the colour of choice and popped collars are giving the illusion that male evolution has seen us remove the need for cervical vertebra all together. The flashy fake diamond in the left ear is still pimping strong, i’m assuming they all saw Milhouse’s earing and wanted to be an individual too, sparkle sparkle! Thin horizontal stripes are aplenty, completely accentuating the disturbingly jiggly breasts and guts of the routine weekend drinkers.

Skinny leg jeans are giving a fair indication of the activity level of the valley elite, i’m still at a loss how wobbling around on hairy little table legs is appealing to anyone, i can only assume going the super skinny leg route is a way to make their junk look fatter in comparison, like eating a cheerio with chopsticks. Pastels and soft clothing are donned by burly blokes trying to visually convince the ladies they will not force them into performing fellatio and rodger them unconscious after they’ve dragged them home too drunk to effectively resist.

Finally there is the defeated, walking about in the cotton turd they have been forced to buy to meet the quickly changing approval of their female companions. Tucked in designer polo’s, earthy dress pants and disgusting shoe/belt combos make these whipping boys wince in self disgust the moment they are separated from their complimentary dressed female half, looking like a retarded david jones model they hope their disgusting appearance is overshadowed by their fucked fashion mullet.